So, time goes by and next week I’ll start my activity as medical intern at psychiatric hospital. Yup, It’s my psychiatry rotation and I can’t wait. :D As doctor, I have to be proffesional especially in attitude thingy. Yes I have bipolar but I’m a doctor. Bipolar can’t be an obstacle in my way. I have to control my self in front of patient, whatever my mood I experienced. Ya it’s hard and challenging. But I love challenge. And being doctor is my dream. So I’ll reach it by doing my best. So far, my bipolar is in remission. I’m not experiencing any hipomanic or depresive episode. Everything is undercontrol. I’m taking Frimania 2x200 mg a day. I think it works well on me. So, this is my update. Wish me luck on my psychiatry rotation. : ) Cheers.

I’ve been in psychiatry ward 3 times since January 2012. Hope I’ll getting better and better, no more psychiatry ward. My mood is stable lately. Sometimes I remember my hard time and sad. But I think it was just normal mood swing. Not extreme. I also feel a bit high and don’t need to sleep for a day or 2. It can’t be hypomania because the onset is only 1 or 2 days. So I positively think that I’m normal now. I have impulse control disorder. I can’t control my impulse to do self-harm or drug overdose. But since my last time being in psychiatric ward, I never experienced the eager and hunger to cut or taking drugs. Antipsychotic drug helps me a lot to decrease my freakin’ impulse. I’m in holiday now. 10 weeks holiday and I don’t have any specific plan. Just sleep, eat, browse internet, play games, listen to music, shopping or window shopping at the mall. That’s all. Oh almost forgot, I wrote a script about my journey with bipolar disorder. And I have to wait for about 2 months to get the decision from the publisher about publishing my script become book. Quite long time and I hate waiting. I hope the publisher like my script and publish it in to a book. That’s my update. See ya..

Well, my depression is coming. I hate it. I want to be normal. I want to continue my study as normal medical student. Be a good doctor and help people. That’s it. All I want is reach my dream and being normal. I WANT TO BE NORMAL WITHOUT BIPOLAR !!! I’m disappointed with my life. I’m sad. Oh God help me to be normal. I want to be normal.